Monday, August 27, 2007

Damn

Scott Fuentes was a buddy of mine back in the old Dark Horse days, this was back in '92-'96. He was a designer there when I worked in the service bureau. he was a small guy who had this manic, somewhat menacing, energy about him. Like a pixie (bearing in mind that pixies and elves and fairies are all scary little folk in the original folk tales), but he was always quick to laugh if things were funny. We used to have conversations about movies and books and other things, too.

I remember him always being around in those days, the way all of us at Dark Horse were around all of the time; at parties; going out drinking; at work, of course. It seemed like I saw all of my coworkers seven days a week back then; an impression I'm sure is untrue, but there it is.

And, yeah, I'm speaking about Scott in the past tense. Last week Scott was in a single-car accident and he died. Apparently, he wasn't wearing his seat belt. Which is so sad and stupid it makes me furious. Furious the way you get with people who've died because they're no longer in your life and they're never coming back. I "found" Scott on myspace a while ago and kept telling myself that I'd contact him when things were less crazy. There's another brilliant plan that'll never come to fruition.

I have a friend, Bryan, and last Saturday night I got an email from him asking if I knew a Scott Fuentes who worked at DH. Bryan works in a funeral home and this kind of general question from him makes one suspicious. I even asked if his question was funeral-related. I remember that as I typed it, I felt uneasy. "Don't put a name to your troubles." When he got back to me, though, that was exactly what it was.

More than a few people very close to me have died in the last few years, and I'm not going to over-dramatize my relationship with Scott and say we were close. We weren't. We hadn't spoken in years, but it brought into sharp relief my tendency to leave things unsaid. Every one of those people who've exited my life should have heard me tell them things; things I was just too weak or afraid or selfish to say. I wish I could vow to be better about this. I wish I could say that from today on I will say all those things to my friends and family that I should, but I think I know better than to make those kinds of proclamations.

But I will try.

Here's to Scott Fuentes. I wish we'd had at least one more conversation.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Adam,
I just googled Scott's name and found your blog. I am devastated. Scott and I were close friends in high school and the years afterward. I was one of the groom’s men at his wedding.

In the late 80’s I apparently did something that made him angry to the point that he never wanted to talk to me again (nor did he want to tell me what that was). I had always wished that we could have resolved the issue (whatever it may have been).

You described him perfectly. That was the Scott I new. I wish we could have connected again also.

Brett Sheets
brett.sheetsREMOVE_THIS@providence.org

Michelle Moore said...

Adam,

I was a close friend of Scott's in high school. He was part of a group of a great group of friends that hung out together and went to Rocky Horror Picture Show midnight movies all the time. He was my prom date for my Senior prom, though only as a good friend. After high school, I did not keep in touch with Scott, but would run into him occasionally when I was in Portland. He was very artistic and I have a beautiful picture he drew for me of a mare and foal (because I loved horses), which now hangs on my 6 1/2 year old daughters bedroom wall.
I didn't know the details of Scott's passing. I found it in an announcement from another high school friend on Classmates.com, but I am not a paid subscribor so I could not open the announcement to get the details. I googled him, and like Brett that is how I found you. I am saddened by the loss of Scott, and feel badly for his children and ex-wife Lisa, who was also a high school classmate. Thank you for sharing a little bit of Scott with your readers. You described him perfectly.

Take care,
Michelle Moore
Milwaukie High School
Class of 1982

TaoOfSharon said...

Hi Adam,

I wanted to thank you for your blog. I heard about Scott's death the evening of Tuesday, September 4, and haven't been able to stop thinking of him since. I actually read your blog that night and have been meaning to post a comment.

I'd known Scott since the fifth grade (he was in both my fifth and sixth grade classes). We also went to the same junior high and the the same high school and graduated together. Our parents houses are in the same neighborhood in Milwaukie, about two blocks from each other, so we lived pretty close to each other growing up.

In the early days of grade school and junior high, Scott was, as you would say, quite "menacing". He teased me, threw rocks at me on occasion, and frequently would "chase" me home. I remember being a little afraid of him, yet at the same time I found it kind of endearing. Maybe it was more like admiration for such a small guy being quite the "bully"!

A gradual change took place in high school, sometime about the end of our freshman year. We became close friends. Scott ended up living with my high school boyfriend, Jim, for some time because of a situation with his parents. Scott was part of our very close- knit circle of friends. We partied together, went to the beach together, dances together, we were on the yearbook staff together.
He was such an amazing guy - artistic, intelligent, funny (I always loved his dry, sarcastic wit). He was so wise for his years and he inspired me in so many ways.

I am the "high school friend" that Michelle Moore is referring to (and luckily I was given Michelle's email address so I could write to her). I was a part of the "group" that Michelle is referring to. We had such great times back then! I posted a notice on Classmates.com just to try and get the word out to as many people as possible. I was able to get information from looking up Scott's MySpace and communicating with one of his MySpace friends. It was actually comforting to read his MySpace, though very bittersweet. I only wish I had contacted him one of those many times when I thought to myself "wow, I really would like to get in touch with Scott".

I have been writing down my memories of Scott, gathering a few old pictures, and plan to go over to my parents house to find art he did for me as well as other "mementos". When I am done with my little "tribute" I plan to share it with as many people as possible, his family, friends, etc.

So once again, thank you for writing your blog and I will post again to you in case you would like to hear about Scott's early years from someone that knew him pretty damned well! :-)

Take care......

Sharon Ward
taoofclean@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

Adam,

I have been kicking myself for emailing you the news. Sometimes I forget that death isn't an everyday occurance for other people. I should have called you.

Anyway, if anyone needs to get in touch with his family let me know. Just email me your name, how you know him, and your contact information. I can contact the family and give them the information or they may give me permission to give you their contact information.

The service was well attended. It was a graveside service at our City View location. It has a beautiful view of Portland. Many people had stories and "Pinball Wizard" was played. His ex-wife, two teenage boys, sister, and father spoke. His father really enjoyed telling stories and listening to them.

Also, if anyone needs someone to talk to I always have an open ear.

Bryan Michael
Funeral Director
Lincoln Memorial Funeral Home
boriskane@hotmail.com
Bryan.Michael@sci-us.com

Scott A. Tice said...

Hi Adam,

I just ran across this now. A few of us old DH guys went up to my cabin in Sisters a few weeks after this happened. It was planned by me and Scott... so the mood was quite somber. We did manage to have a good time and share some experiences about Scott. I do so sorely miss him.

I'm sorry you two did not get to reconnect. Scott and I had gone out for a few beers and recalled the days past at the Horse. We always had a good time together and I cherish those times.

Life is short. Wear your seat belts!

manray84 said...

hi adam, i sort of stumbled on your blog after looking up my dad online (a diversion from biology homework). he's been in the back of my mind every day for the last few months and the thought of him being gone still doesn't fully register. but it's meant a lot to hear from people who knew him in ways i didn't. thanks for your post.

-trevor fuentes

manray84 said...

hi adam, i stumbled on your blog while looking up my dad online (sort of a diversion from biology homework). he's been in the back of my mind every day for the last few months and the thought of him being gone still doesn't fully register. but it's meant a lot to hear from people who knew him in ways i didn't. thanks for your post.

Ty Hitzemann said...

Sharon-

I remember you from High school, I was one of Scott's friends as well, I was just a little more reclusive than him. We shared a love for art, Hunter S. Thompson and Gary Neuman. I actually lived with Scott and Daryl Henkel on 42nd for a while after high school.
I'm the guy who ended up owning Daryl's green Charger. I didn't see Scott at our 20 year reunion which re-kindled my interest. I remember asking around, but no one knew.
I JUST found out he died because I saw the 1 year obit today. This is such a BLOW. I know its been a year for you.
Funny that while in high school I once attended a funeral with Scott for the kid who lived next to him, and he attended Christine Carmichael's funeral with me who was my girlfriend (I still miss her).
I lost touch with scott some years ago and never really knew why. We had much of the same interests, but I would think about him often.
Its weird because around a year ago I had a strange dream that we were all revisiting that house for a reunion...and it was just strange that I still remember the dream when I have remembered almost NO other dreams I've ever had.
lately I've been hunting down old friends and he was on my list.
I have not been able to reach ANYONE with any information, but have found what I think is his parents house on google. I think they still live in the same home. I may just show up over there soon.
Do you have any information about Scott, or know where anyone else is?

P.S. I couldn't find a myspace for Scott either. How did you find it?


Ty Hitzemann
BUKO MAGAZINE
503.233.7132
http://www.buko.net/